Selected Passages from "Yuan’s Model Conduct in Society" (Part 7)
 
14) Mistakes happen, but it's never too late to mend them
 
Even sages make mistakes, let alone everyday people who are not sages. How can we demand that everything be done perfectly? If someone makes a mistake, no one would blame him except for his parents or siblings, and no one would put forward their admonitions except for his close friends. In general, people would only express their concern behind the person's back with their criticism and mockery.
 
A noble man with high virtue is always conscious of making mistakes, and quietly considers people's criticism of him. He will thank them if he hears criticism from them and will mend his faults quickly. A petty person with low virtue, on the other hand, will try to excuse himself with arguments, even at the price of cutting off friendships or resorting to lawsuits.
 
There is an example in the Analects of Confucius in which the faults of a man are compared to eclipses. Eclipses happen temporarily and are visible to all, but people will still look at the moon or the sun as they normally do after the eclipse passes. In this metaphor it is pointed out that every person can make mistakes, but if he can mend them in time, he will still be respected by others as before. Confucius has said: "A mistake becomes a fault when one refuses to mend it." That is to say, if one refuses to mend himself after doing something wrong, he is really making a mistake. If we look at those people of great achievements in the past and contemporary times, we will find that most of them have the virtue of being glad to have their errors pointed out by others and will mend themselves once they know that they have been wrong. On the contrary, those who try to cover up their mistakes and refuse to mend them mostly end up with failures.
 

15) Be grateful and seek to repay kindness
 
People nowadays usually don't remember it when they receive kindness from other people, but if they give help to other people, even if it is just a trivial thing, they will clearly remember in their minds. Ancient people said, "Please don't remember the kindness that you give to other people, but don't forget the kindness that other people give to you." It is indeed difficult to follow this.
 
16) Do not accept others' kindness easily
 
Whether we reside at home or stay abroad, we cannot easily accept other people's kindness. Before I became successful, I often remembered it when I accepted other people's kindness. Every time when I saw the people who helped me, I felt awe and could often see by the look in their faces that they remembered that they had helped me. Now that I am successful, I want to repay those who have given me kindness, but it is hard to do so to all of them. However, I feel guilty when I do not repay them.
 
Therefore, even if it is just one meal or one wisp of silk, we cannot accept it easily. There was once a person who sought friends widely when serving as an official in the royal court. He was warned by elders who said, "If you accept too much favor from others, it will be difficult for you to get a foothold in the royal court." We should think carefully about these words.
 

《袁氏世范》选译（七）
 
*人人有过　有则改之
 
圣贤尚且不能没有过错，何况一般人不是圣贤，怎么能够每件事都做得尽善尽美呢？一个人犯了过错，不是他的父母兄长，谁肯教诲责备他呢？不是他的挚爱好友，谁肯规谏劝告他呢？关系一般的人，不过是背地里议论讥讽他罢了。
 
品德高尚的君子惟恐自己犯有过错，暗暗察访别人对自己的议论，听到这些议论就会感谢别人，并且考虑改正过错。品德低下的小人听到别人对自己的议论，就爱强行替自己辩解，以至于断绝了朋友的交往，还有人为此而对簿公堂。
 
《论语》中有个例子，将人的过失比作日蚀和月蚀，日蚀和月蚀的发生是暂时的，但人人都能看得见，等日月重现光明时，人们还会像原先一样仰望它们，以此来比喻人有过失在所难免，如果能及时改正，那么人们还会像以前那样尊敬他。孔子讲：「过而不改，是谓过矣。」人如果有错而不悔改，那就是真正的过错了。古往今来，看一看那些有大成就之人，他们大都能「闻过则喜」，知错就改；而那些文过饰非，不知悔改的人大多以失败而告终。
 
*感恩图报
 
现在的人接受了别人的恩惠大多不记在心里，但是如果有恩于别人，即使给了别人微不足道的东西，也要清清楚楚记在心里。古人说：「不要记住你对他人的恩惠，不要忘掉他人对你的恩惠。」能做到这一点确实很难。
 

*不轻受人恩
 
在乡里居住，或是寄居在外，不能轻易接受人家的恩惠。在我没有显达的时候，受了人家的恩惠，常常记在心里，每次见到施恩于我的人，心里都很敬畏。而那人也因为觉的有恩于我，所以在神色上常常表现出来。等到我荣耀显达以后，要想报答所有有恩于我的人，恐怕也很难做到，不报答又觉的理亏。
 
因此，即使是一顿饭，一丝绢，也不能轻易接受。前辈看见有人做官时广求知己，告诫他说：「受别人的恩惠多，就很难在朝廷中立住脚。」应该好好的体会体会这句话。