（Fotolia)

Marriage Is Predetermined – Husband and Wife Should Treat Each Other with Respect (Part 1)
 
During the Tang Dynasty, there was a man named Wei Gu who lived in Duling County. He was orphaned at a young age. After he grew up, he wanted to get married and have a family as soon as possible. He entrusted others to seek a wife for him, but with no success. In the second year of the Yuanhe Era (806 – 820 AD), he toured the Qinghe area and stayed in an inn south of Songcheng City. A guest at the inn suggested that he propose to the daughter of Pan Fang, the Defense Secretary of Songcheng. They made an appointment the next day at the entrance of Longxing Temple to discuss further.
 
To show that he was sincere about marriage, Wei arrived at the appointed place before dawn. When he got there, he saw an old man sitting on the stairs of the temple going through a list of books in the moonlight. Wei quietly browsed through the list of books, but they were not written in Chinese or Sanskrit. He could not recognize the characters of the book titles.
 
Wei asked the old man, “What book are you looking for? I have studied diligently since I was little, and it is rare that I encounter characters that I do not recognize. I can even read Sanskrit. However, I am not familiar with the books you are reviewing. What are they?” The old man smiled and answered, “These are books of the netherworld. Since they do not belong to this world, of course you have not seen them. I am from the netherworld and I am in charge of the affairs over here. I was not supposed to run into you, since we are separated by yin and yang. We meet here today because you came too early, not because I appeared at the wrong place.”
 
Wei asked the old man, “What are you in charge of?” He replied, “I am in charge of the marriages of this world.” Wei got excited and asked him, “I was orphaned when I was little, so I wanted to get married quickly so I can have descendants. I have proposed marriage to many girls over a dozen years, but with no success. I will meet someone here today to discuss Secretary Pan’s daughter. Will it work out?”
 
The old man told Wei, “No. If you are not destined to marry someone, even if that someone is of low social status and you condescend to marry her, it will still not work. Your wife just passed her third birthday. She will marry into your family when she is 17.”
 
Wei then asked the old man, “What do you carry in your bag?” He answered, “Red strings. I use them to tie the feet of the husband and wife together in the human world. When a person is born, he or she already has a string on his or her foot tied to their future spouse. It does not matter if the two are enemies, or if one is rich and the other is poor, or if they live in the two most remote corners of the world. Once this red string ties them together, they cannot disobey their destiny. Your foot is tied to someone. Nothing is going to change it, regardless of your enthusiasm for seeking an early marriage.”
 
Wei asked, “Then where is my wife? What does her family do?” The old man told him, “Your wife is the daughter of a woman with the last name Chen. She sells vegetables in a market north of the inn.” “Can I see her,” Wei asked. “Chen often takes her daughter to the market. Follow me, I can point her out for you,” replied the old man.
 
It was morning and Wei's friend still did not show up. The old man packed up his books to lead Wei to the market. Wei followed behind. An old woman with one blind eye carrying a three-year-old girl walked toward them. The girl's clothes were worn and she looked ugly. The old man pointed at the girl and told Wei that she was his wife. Wei got very angry, “Can I kill her?” “The girl has a prosperous future, and she will have a wealthy life with you. She should not be killed,” said the old man, and then he disappeared.
 
Wei cursed, “That old ghost talks absurd nonsense. I was born into an educated family with social status. I should marry someone with equal standing. Even if I never get married, I could be friendly with some beautiful women. Why should I marry a blind woman's ugly daughter?” He sharpened a knife and handed it to his servant, “You are a capable person. If you kill this girl for me, I will reward you with a lot of money.”


婚姻前定　夫妻相敬 (上)
 
唐代人韦固家居杜陵地方，少年时代就成了孤儿。成年后就想尽早娶妻，所以就委托别人四处求婚，但都无功而返。元和二年，为了游历清河地方，便在宋城城南的旅店住宿。客人中有人建议韦固向宋城司马潘昉的女儿求婚，并且约好了第二天在客店西的龙兴寺门相见。
 
为了表示自己求婚心切，第二天晨曦微露，斜月尚明之际，韦固就前往约定的地方。但见一个老人背靠布囊坐在寺院的台阶上，正在藉著月光在翻检书目。悄悄观看其书，既非篆书亦非梵文，韦固不识一字。
 
韦固问老人：“老父要找的是什么书啊？我自幼年起即刻苦学习，人世间的字几乎没有我不认识的，西方的梵文也能阅读。惟有老父所要检读的书从未见过。是什么书呀？”老人笑著说：“这是非世间的幽冥之书，君子自然不能见到。我是掌管幽冥之事的幽冥之人，本与君子阴阳相隔，但今天与君子在此相见是你来得的过早，不是我来的不当啊！”
 
韦固回问老人：“那长者主管何事呀？”老人答复说：“主管天下的婚嫁之事。”韦固心中窃喜，对老人说：“我自幼就成了孤儿，成年后想要及早成婚，繁衍子孙。十余年来多方求娶，不能如意。今天与他人相约在此，议娶宋城潘司马的女儿，不知是否可以成功？”
 
老人对韦固说：“不成。命不该合，虽降尊屈就求娶屠博之家的女儿，也是不可得的。君子你的妻子刚过三岁，十七岁时才会嫁入你家。”
 
韦固问道：“您的囊中装的是什么东西？”老人答曰：“是红色的绳子，用来系住人间夫妇之足。人一出生就被此绳所系。不论是仇敌之家、贵贱悬殊，抑或为官天涯、地域相隔，此赤色绳索一系，终不可违。君子的脚已经系于他人，四处他求无益啊。”
 
韦固说：“那么我的妻子在什么地方？她的家人是干什么的？”老人答：“你的妻子是客店北边卖菜的陈姓婆子的女儿。”韦固说：“那我能不能看看她呀？”老人回答：“陈氏常抱著孩子来市场卖菜，你跟著我，我可以指给你看。”
 
及至天明，与韦固约定的人一直没有应约，老人也卷书负囊而行。韦固随老人进入市场。正好遇到一个瞎了一只眼的老妇怀抱三岁的女孩而来，衣弊形陋。老人指著女婴说，这就是你的妻子。韦固非常生气，说：“我能杀掉她吗？”老人说：“这个人命该食天禄，因子而贵，绝不可以杀。”说完隐身而去。
 
韦固骂道：“老鬼妖妄言如此荒谬！我出身士大夫之家，婚嫁须门当户对。即使我终究不能娶妇成婚，也可以攀援一些声妓美女。为什么要娶一个瞎眼老妇丑陋的女儿哪？”于是磨了一把小刀，交给他的奴仆说：“你向来干练，如果能为我杀掉这个女孩，我赏你一万钱。”