Benevolence Begins With Oneself (Part 1 of 2)
When asked "How can a person develop a good moral character?" Confucius replied, "Benevolence begins with oneself." When someone begins to stress the development of one's moral character, it is the beginning of benevolence, the elevation of one's moral standard, and the affirmation of one's wisdom. The intrinsic beauty is the enrichment of one's moral character, and the external manifestation is benevolence and sincerity. The difference between a person of virtue and a sly person depends on whether he cultivates his moral character or not. The following are three stories on the cultivation of one's moral character.
Value Rationality, Not Words
On one occasion, Confucius' students were having a discussion. Some students talked agitatedly, using strong language and dramatic facial expression. Zizhang said, "When discussing an issue, Confucius set an example. When our teacher talks, he speaks slowly, gently, and firmly. His mannerism is firm and respectful. He listens quietly until he understands what the other person is saying, then he expresses his opinion cautiously and calmly. He puts himself in other people's shoes, and is modest and polite. His ideas are excellent and conform to established social etiquette. He is broad-minded and tolerant of others. Because he practices what he preaches, he is able to spread his ideas on morality and justice. When discussing an issue, those with deficient moral character tend to be opinionated and conceited, and like to dwell on others' mistakes. When they speak, they often stare and shoot out words rapidly and glibly. They speak with emotion and not rationality, and their attitude is stubborn. This is not the way a virtuous person speaks. We should learn from Confucius."
Zixia asked Confucius, "Does a virtuous person value words?" Confucius replied, "A virtuous person has high regards for rationality. A person who possesses vast knowledge but does not understand the reasons behind it cannot meet the standard of a virtuous man with true knowledge. Even though his words are elegant, rich, and plentiful, they still cannot make people listen. A person with high moral values has to be respectful of others; this is the way to preserve one's high morality. A person who possesses intelligence and wisdom has to be open-minded and humble; this is the way to preserve one's intelligence and wisdom. A person with vast knowledge needs to remind himself of his lack of knowledge; this is the way to preserve his true nature. By restraining oneself, one always leaves room in one's heart."
从“为仁由己”看君子修养 (上)
“为仁由己”是孔子对“个人何以可以成就德性”这个问题的解答。强调进行道德修养是“仁”的开始，是道德水准的提升，是智慧的凭证，其内在是德性充实之美，外在表现是慈悲和真诚。有无修养也是君子与小人之别。以下是关于君子修养方面的几个故事。
尚理不尚辞
一次，孔子的几个学生讨论问题，有的言辞激切，语气强悍，表情变化很大。子张说：“怎样讨论问题，夫子为我们做出了表率，我记的夫子说话的时候言辞比较缓慢，态度平和而意志坚定，仪态稳重而含有敬意，在没有弄明白别人的意思之前先沉默静听，心平气和而又谨慎小心的把看法说出来，能够推己及人而且谦让有礼，见解高超而符合礼义，心胸开阔而能以宽恕的态度对待他人，道义就由此言传身教而得以弘扬。修养不够的人在议论问题的时候，只凭自己的心意，往往自以为是，专门挑拣别人的错误，眼睛瞪的大大的，言辞急切好像喷发出来的一样，口若悬河好像沸腾的水，用情感代替理智，仪态固执，君子不提倡这样的方式。我们应该向夫子学习。”
子夏问孔子说：“君子崇尚言辞吗？”孔子说：“君子崇尚道理。拥有广博的知识却不懂的贯通其中的道理，不符合君子真知的要求；辞藻繁丽，夸夸其谈，不符合人们想要听的愿望。道德修养很高的人，都需要恭敬的对待别人，用来守住自己的道德修养；拥有聪明智慧的人，都需要虚怀若谷而不自以为是，用来守住自己的聪明智慧；见多识广的人，都需要一直提醒自己还很浅薄，用来守住自己本性。这就是节制自己，让自己的心里永远留下应有的空间的办法。”
