Deities Cannot be Fooled With
 
The following story is from a book written in the Song Dynasty (960 – 1279 A.D.).
 
Wang Tianqing was a Taoist master in Jianchang (today's Nancheng County), Jiangxi Province. His disciple, Zheng, whom people called Taoist Zheng, followed Wang Tianqing for years and learned from Wang the way to invite the "Thunder Deity" to generate rainfall or eliminate demons. Each time the Thunder Deity granted his request.
 
During the Gaozong Emperor's time (around 1131 A.D.) in the Song Dynasty, Taoist Zheng went to Linchuan County. Several guests went to visit him and asked to meet the "Thunder Deity." Although Taoist Zheng refused at the beginning, he could not resist their repeated requests and reluctantly agreed.
 
Taoist Zheng performed his regular routine: he chanted incantations, drew some symbols, and then held a sword and declared something loudly. After a while, accompanied by cold winds and splashes of rain, a deity wearing a tall hat and carrying a heavenly ax in hand appeared. The deity said, "I am the Thunder Deity, I come to Master Zheng's summon. Please give me your orders."
 
Taoist Zheng said, "Several friends of mine want to meet you so I summoned you. I don't have anything particular for you to do." The Thunder Deity was very angry. He said, "Each time you summon me, I must first report to the Heavenly Emperor to get permission before I can come down. Afterwards, I report to the Heavenly Emperor what I have done. Today you summoned for your friends’ entertainment. How can I report this to the Heavenly Emperor? My heavenly ax does not allow me to come down to earth vainly. Master Zheng, you should take a hit from my ax." With these words, the Thunder Deity hit Taoist Zheng's head with the ax. The guests were so horrified they all fainted. After a while they came to and found Taoist Zheng dead.
 
Today, there are more and more atheists. There used to be a Mr. Chen, a theist, and Mr. Liu, an atheist. They are good friends but like to argue with each other. One day Liu said to Chen, "You say deities exist, so summon one to come here for me to see!" Chen replied, "I cannot summon deities. I cannot even summon a state governor to come here, yet you know we have a governor. You have not met the governor, or the president, but they do exist. Deities are far superior to governors, presidents, or any human being. How can we ordinary human beings summon deities on a whim?"
 
神灵不可欺戏
 
此故事从宋代《夷坚丙志》译述。
 
王天卿是建昌（今江西南城）人，他的道术非常玄奥。徒弟郑某，人们称他郑道士，跟随王天卿多年，学会了「五雷法」，能够拜请雷神下界，降雨或除妖。每一次都有求必应。
 
宋高宗绍兴初年，郑道士来到临川县，有几个客人来拜见郑道士，他们想见见雷神，郑道士开始是拒绝不肯，但是挡不住这几个人的反复请求，就勉强答应了。
 
郑道士像往常一样，念咒画符，手执宝剑，高声宣诉。过了好一阵儿，见到冷风呼号，雨雾迷濛，一位神人头戴高帽，手持神斧，来到郑道士的面前，说道：「弟子雷神，承应郑法师召唤，前来听命。请讲！」
 
郑道士说：「因为有几个朋友，想拜见你，所以我便把你召来了，并没有别的事情。」雷神听完郑道士的话，很是愤怒，讲道：「弟子每次受你召唤，必先禀报天帝，得到批准，才能前来。办完事后，返回天庭，也还要向天帝汇报。今天，你却召我前来，以供戏耍，你这种行为，让我如何向天帝覆命呢？我手中的神斧，不容许我虚此一行。郑法师，你应该受此一斧。」雷神当即举起神斧，砸向郑法师的脑袋。在场的那几个客人，都吓得惊叫倒地。过了一会儿，几个客人苏醒过来，一看，郑道士已经死了。
 
当经无神论者越来越多。曾经有个老陈，很信神；一个老刘，不信神。两个人关系不错，但爱抬杠。老刘说：「你讲有神，你把神请来，给我看看！」老陈说：「我是请不来神，我连本省的省长都请不来。但确实有省长。你没见过省长、总统；总不能讲没有省长，没有总统吧？你没有见过他们，但他们都存在。再说，神比省长、总统他们，比一切常人，都高出无数倍。我们常人，怎么可以随便把神请下来呢？」