Reinforce Virtue to Ensure Harmony between Husband and Wife
According to Confucianism, in order to maintain social order, morality and relationships, one needs to follow the Three Cardinal Guides (ruler guides subject, father guides son, and husband guides wife) and the Five Constant Virtues (benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and sincerity). More specifically, the family is the cornerstone of any society. As such, harmony between husband and wife is critical to achieving social stability.
A Cozy Home
As the saying goes, “A lone yin does not grow, and a solo yang does not prosper.” In other words, yin and yang are interdependent and are both part of a dynamic system. Marriage between a woman and a man signifies the sacredness of the relationship between two complementary opposites, that is, to create future generations that allow humankind to survive and thrive.
According to traditional moral principles, a legitimate marriage calls for matchmakers’ arrangements, parents’ approval, and Heaven’s blessings. Certain formalities are required of the wedding ceremony, at which the newlyweds need to kowtow to different entities: first to Heaven and Earth, then to their respective parents, and lastly to each other. Only when a man and a woman get married this way will their newly-established family have a solid foundation upon which to grow as a pillar of society.
The Taoist principle of the harmony between Heaven and man implies that the husband in a family is yang and the wife is yin. He is in charge of the household’s external affairs and she of the internal affairs. He works hard to support his family, and she strives to be the understanding wife and loving mother. She creates a sanctuary that, regardless of whether he is far or near, he always longs to return to. They both understand that it is a predestined relationship that brings them together, so they have a deep appreciation for each other. Despite the differences, they know how to be tolerant and considerate of each other. Built on mutual respect, their marriage is indestructible, their home is warm and welcoming, and their life colorful and harmonious.
The Three Cardinal Guides and Five Constant Virtues are the moral standards that our ancestors passed down to us to help maintain familial and social order. These standards conform to the Heavenly principles and are blessed by Gods and Buddhas. During the 5,000 years of Chinese history, those who have followed the standards have been able to build prosperous, wealthy, and virtuous families. Those who violate the standards have only seen their wealth dwindle and their families shrink. Just as the saying goes, families that practice benevolence have plenty of fortune to pass down to future generations, whereas those that do evil leave endless retributions for their offspring to face.
Moral standards, an essential part of the traditional culture bestowed by Heaven, are the basis of human civilization. As such, mankind should comply with the arrangements of nature and behave accordingly. As the anchors of society, each family should ensure its healthy growth and maintain a sustainable existence. Observing the moral standards will enable both husband and wife to keep calm amid the chaotic secular world, enjoy each other, and live a long life.
A Tomb of Unhappiness
Since it came to power more than 60 years ago, the Chinese Community Party (CCP) has been worshiping the communist ideology and promoting the advanced science it imported from the Western world. To tighten its control, the CCP completely abandoned the traditional ethical standards and the principle of harmony between Heaven and man (which is the foundation of advanced ancient science), and at the same time brainwashed the Chinese people with atheism. The loss of righteous belief in Gods and Buddhas eventually led to the destruction of the moral foundation upon which normal families and society grow and flourish.
In today’s China, one can no longer find any trace of traditional Chinese culture nor the purity derived from it. The collapse of morality, the pursuit of sexual freedom and selfish interests is the current status quo. Meanwhile, modern science has provided all the conveniences for people to pursue hedonism. There is a so-called “two haves and two have-nots” rule popular among young people in China today when it comes to seeking a spouse. Namely, they want their mates to have a house and a car, but with no mother or father to worry about. Such a standard goes completely against the purpose of marriage, that is, to produce offspring.
The liberation of people’s selfish nature has the cascading effect of causing families and subsequently the entire society to decay. Many families become just a formality with no real marriage existing between husband and wife. A once cozy home instead becomes a tomb of unhappiness in which to bury their minds and souls.
Families are the cornerstones of society. If there are no cornerstones, is there any hope for the rest of the structure of society? If all the countries in this world turn out this way, this earth will go bad like a rotten apple. Where is the way out for human beings?
Reinforce the Three Cardinal Guides and the Five Constant Virtues
The existence and progress of humankind is determined by the laws of nature and everything is pre-arranged by Heaven. A man and a woman will never get married if they are not destined to become husband and wife. It does not matter how one finds his or her mate, be it through their own efforts, introduction by other people, or arranged by parents, he or she will surely settle on the very same person if they are destined to become husband and wife. How the marriage will turn out all depends on the predestined relationship between the husband and the wife. Whether it is a success or failure, it is the couple’s virtue and karma that accumulated in their previous’ lives at play.
In addition to affection, there is also the sense of indebtedness that a husband and wife have to each other. We should be thankful for such indebtedness bestowed by Heaven. The man should be responsible for the woman, who entrusts her whole life to him. The woman, on the other hand, should be caring towards her husband. During endless reincarnations, no one can take fame and material interests with them, but virtue and karma will always carry over. The most evil among all the evil things in the world is promiscuity, which will accumulate huge karma. As soon as one becomes promiscuous, his or her good fortune will be reduced, and the karma may even hurt future offspring. However, one’s thoughts determine one’s behavior. It would be invaluable if one could restrain the evil thoughts and stop doing bad things.
To rediscover virtue and righteousness, we must reinforce the Three Cardinal Guides and the Five Constant Virtues to help repair and strengthen families. Only when each building block becomes healthy again can the whole society regain its long-lasting hope. After all, families are the strength of our future.