Selected Passages from "Yuan’s Model Conduct in Society" (Part 4)
 
7) Be earnest and trustworthy in speech; be sincere and respectful in deeds
 
Be earnest and trustworthy with one's words; be sincere and respectful with one's deeds. This is what sages preached as the method for one to be trusted and respected by the people.
 
That is to say, do not do things in favor of one's own interests while bringing losses to others. During hardships, do not take advantage of others to achieve one's own goal. This is being earnest. For any promise--no matter how big or small--always fulfill it. Once setting a deadline, do not take a minute's delay in meeting it. This is being trustworthy.
 
When getting along with other people, be warmhearted and honest. This is what people called sincerity. Be attentive and humble. This is what people called respect.
 
If one can follow these principles, not only will one gain the respect of fellow acquaintances, everything he or she does will go smoothly. An ordinary person can also be polite to others since doing so does not hurt one's self-interest. However, if a person is nice to others on the surface while looking down upon others in the heart, then there is respect, but lacking sincerity. A noble person will refer to such a person as a flattering, sly person. As time goes on, he or she will not be trusted by others.
 
8) Be strict with oneself, and tolerant of others
 
One must be earnest, trustworthy, kind and respectful before requiring others to do the same. If one does not meet such standards yet demands such from others, he or she will be criticized instead.
 
Nowadays, very few people are introspective enough to see if they are acting in an earnest, trustworthy, kind and respectful manner. In contrast, many people expect others to meet such standards. In fact, even if someone is able to meet them, he or she should not necessarily require others to do the same.
 
There are people who are able to follow these standards, and this is excellent. However, within this group there are those that are very strict with others and easily reprimand other people severely for minor things. This is not tolerance or forgiveness. In fact, doing so can easily bring complaint or hatred.
 
In Lun Yu (collected words of Confucius), there was a similar story. One day, a student of Zixia asked Zizhang how to get along with other people. Zizhang said, "A noble person respects those with virtue and is forgiving of ordinary people. He praises those who are extraordinary, while sympathetic to those who are incapable. If I am doing very well and near perfect, is there anybody I cannot tolerate? If I am doing very poorly, how can I complain if others refuse to communicate with me?"
 
《袁氏世范》选译（三）
 
*言忠信　行笃敬
 
言论讲究忠信，行动奉行笃敬，这是圣人教人们如何获得乡里人们敬重的方法。
 
大概在财物方面，不做损人利己的事；在艰险困苦的处境时，不做妨碍别人而方便自己的事。这就是人们所说的「忠」。一旦向人许诺，就是一丝一毫的小事，也一定要有结果；一旦约定期限，就是一时一刻也不耽误，这就是人们所说的「信」。
 
待人接物热情厚道，内心诚实敦厚，这就是人们所说的「笃」（译者注﹕「笃」是真诚、厚道、纯正的意思）。礼貌谦敬，言辞谦恭，这就是人们所说的「敬」。
 
如果能够做到这些，不仅能得到乡亲的敬重，就是做任何事都能顺利。然而恭敬待人一事，因为对自己毫无损失，世人还能做到。可是如果表面上待人很好，心中却轻视鄙薄，这就成了能「敬」而不能「笃」了，君子将这种人称为奉承献媚的小人，乡亲们久而久之也不会再敬重他。
 
*严律己　宽待人
 
忠诚、有信、厚道、恭敬，这些品德先要自身具备，然后才可能希望别人具有。如果自己还没有完全达到这些要求，却以此来苛求别人，别人便也会以此来责怪你。
 
现在能自我反省是否做到了忠诚、有信、厚道、恭敬的人是很少的，而以此来要求别人的却比比皆是。其实，即使自己做到了这些，也不必要求别人一定做到。
 
现在有的人能做到这些，确实是不错的。可是他想要别人也都像他一样，一时不称自己的心，就狠狠的责备人家。这种人决非有容人之德的人，是很容易与人结怨的。
 
译者注﹕《论语》中记述的一个小故事也阐述了这个道理。子夏的学生向子张请教怎样与人交往。子张说：「君子尊重贤人，也容纳普通的人；嘉奖好人，也同情能力差的人。如果我自己很好，甚么人不能容纳呢？如果我自己不好，别人将拒绝和我交往我又怎么谈得上去拒绝别人呢？」