Ancient Chinese taught their children that to succeed in "achieving a healthy family life, governing a nation, and conquering one's enemies," one must first cultivate one's moral character and virtue. Such ancient wisdom built on experience turned out to be of great value to future generations.
 
Zhuge Liang Taught His Son to Have "Great Ambitions and Far-Reaching Goals"
 
Zhuge Liang (181 – 234 AD) was a famous politician and military strategist in ancient China. He personified the Chinese virtues of loyalty and wisdom. He committed himself to serving the country and its people, worked unselfishly for the common good, and became a role model for future generations. He taught his children to be noble-minded.
 
At 54, Zhuge Liang wrote a famous book, Directive to My Children, to his eight-year-old son, Zhuge Zhan. The book summarized Zhuge Liang's life by recounting his experiences. It also listed responsibilities to be carried out by his children. In this book, he asked his children to remain calm and composed, to continuously cultivate themselves, and to look within. He said that to achieve a noble character and moral integrity, one must be frugal. If one's heart is not free of desires, one is unable to clearly identify the goals in one's life, and if one's mind cannot be at peace, one cannot achieve great things. To realize one's ambition, one should continuously acquire knowledge. To gain true wisdom, one needs to be at peace and diligent. To attain success, one has to be determined.
 
Zhuge Liang held great expectations for his children. His children had no worldly desires, served the country loyally, and made great contributions to society and the nation. "Being at peace" and "being able to achieve high ideals" were the result of their cultivation and morality.
 
Ms. Kou Taught Her Children to Cultivate Their Moral Character to Serve the People
 
Kou Zhun (961 – 1023 AD) was a prime minister during the Northern Song Dynasty. He was upright, honest, and responsible for many of the imperial court's successes. Therefore, the Emperor trusted him greatly.
 
Kou Zhun's father died when he was very young. His family lived in poverty and his mother supported the family by weaving cotton cloth. Mrs. Kou often weaved until late at night while teaching Kou Zhun what would help him later in life. As a result, Kou Zhun was very diligent and succeeded in his studies. Kou Zhun went to the capital for the national civil service examination. He passed the exam and became an official government candidate. The good news reached his hometown. At the time, Mrs. Kou was very ill. Before she passed away, she painted a picture and handed it to Mrs. Liu, a relative, and said to her, "Kou Zhun will become a government official. If he does wrong, please show him this painting!"
 
Kou Zhun became the prime minister. To celebrate his birthday, he hired two theater troupes to entertain his fellow bureaucrats. Mrs. Liu thought it was the perfect opportunity and handed the painting to Kou Zhun. Kou Zhun looked at the painting titled "Teaching My Child to Study Despite Poverty" and read the poem written on the painting: "You studied diligently under the light of a candle. I hoped that you would cultivate yourself in order to serve the people well. I taught you to be hard-working and frugal, so do not forget that you were once poor when you become prosperous." This was obviously Mrs. Kou's will. Kou Zhun read it repeatedly and tears filled his eyes. He immediately canceled the birthday celebration. Ever after, he exercised self-control and took care of the people. He was impartial and selfless, and became known as a wise prime minister during the Song Dynasty.
 
Xu Mian Vowed to Leave a Spotless Reputation to His Heirs
 
Xu Mian (466 – 535 AD) was a politician and a wise official during the Liang Dynasty. Throughout his life, even though he held a high position in the imperial court, he was very strict with himself, fair in his dealings with others, prudent, thrifty, incorruptible, and did not acquire nor possess property. He gave most of his salary to poor relatives, friends, and common people, leaving him with no savings. His associates and old friends suggested that he acquire property for his heirs, and he replied, "Other people may leave property to their heirs, but I will leave mine a spotless reputation. If my descendents are virtuous and capable, then they will create their own wealth. If they are not capable, then it would not help even if I left them property."
 
Xu Mian taught his children to conduct themselves well and maintain moral integrity. He once wrote a letter to his son, Xu Song: "Our ancestors left us with a clean, untainted reputation. They never talked about acquiring and managing personal property. There is an old proverb, 'It is of greater value to teach descendents a book on morality than to leave them a bucket of gold.' After carefully evaluating these words, I understood that they carry profound meaning. Although I am not greatly talented, I do have hopes and wishes. I follow the wisdom of the ancient proverb and live by it. I will not stop midway. After 30 years in a high government position, some of my students and old friends urged me to acquire land and property for you while I still have a job and hold power. But I refused to consider such suggestions. I believe that you will all benefit greatly if I leave behind a precious, unblemished reputation." Xu Mian's heirs became well-known people of virtue.
 
It is most important that parents set examples by what they say and do. This influences children far more than material possessions can. Because children adapt easily, educating them well is of particular importance. Children will come across principles that they do not understand right away, but they can learn through actual experience. Therefore, it is important to guide them properly and lead them on a correct path. All parents wish to leave behind the best for their children. Money and property, no matter how much, can be gone in a moment. Only virtue and kindness can truly benefit children in the long term. Therefore, parents should be farsighted and teach their children to be virtuous and kind, to keep a clear head, to distinguish between right and wrong, and to choose the correct path in life.
 
古人教子故事三则
 
古人教育子女要修身明德，才能“齐家、治国、平天下”，为后世留下了很多宝贵的经验。
 
诸葛亮教子“志当存高远”
 
诸葛亮一生为国为民，克己奉公，为后人树立了楷模。他教育子女要有远大的志向，五十四岁时给八岁的儿子诸葛瞻写了著名的《诫子书》，这既是诸葛亮一生经历的总结，更是他对子女的要求：“夫君子之行，静以修身，俭以养德，非淡泊无以明志，非宁静无以致远。夫学须静也，才须学也，非学无以广才，非志无以成学。”告诫子女要做到静，不断修身和反省自己；要做到俭，才能培养自己高尚的品德和节操。不清心寡欲就不能使自己的志向明确，不安定宁静就不能实现自己的远大理想。实现理想需要不断学习知识，只有静心、刻苦才能学到真知，没有坚定的意志就不能成功。
 
诸葛亮对子女寄予著厚望，他的子女后来都淡泊名利，忠心报国，为国家社稷做出贡献，这正是“宁静”、“致远”的意义和价值所在。
 
寇母教子“修身为万民”
 
北宋寇准自幼丧父，家境清贫，全靠母亲织布度日，寇母常常于深夜一边纺纱一边教寇准读书，督导寇准苦学成材。后来寇准进京应试，得中进士。喜讯传达家乡，寇准母亲正身患重病，临终时她将亲手画的一幅画交给家人刘妈说：“寇准日后必定做官，如果他有错处，你就把这幅画给他！”
 
后来，寇准做了宰相，为庆贺自己的生日，他请来了两台戏班，准备宴请群僚。刘妈认为时机已到，便把寇母的画交给他。寇准展开一看，见是一幅《寒窗课子图》，画幅上面写著一首诗：“孤灯课读苦含辛，望尔修身为万民；勤俭家风慈母训，他年富贵莫忘贫。”这赫然是母亲的遗训，寇准再三拜读，不觉泪如泉涌。于是立即撤去寿筵。此后洁身爱民，秉公无私，成为宋朝有名的贤相。
 
徐勉誓将清白留子孙
 
梁朝时中书令徐勉，一生身居高位，他严于律己，行事公正而谨慎，节俭不贪，不营置家产。平时所得的俸禄，大都分给了亲朋中的穷困者和贫苦百姓，因此家里没任何积蓄。他的门客和老朋友中有人劝他为后代置点产业，他回答说：“别人给子孙留下财产，我给子孙留下清白。子孙如有德能，他们自会创家业；如果他们不成材，即使我留下财产也没用。”
 
徐勉经常教导子女要重品行操守，他曾写信告诫儿子徐崧说：“我们家世代清廉，所以平常日子过的清苦。至于置办产业这件事，从来就没有提及过，不仅仅是不经营而已。古人说：『把整筐的黄金留给子孙，不如教他们攻读一门经书』。仔细研究这些言论，的确不是空话。我虽然没甚么才能，但有自己的心愿，幸得遵奉古人这个教训去做，就不敢半途而废。自从我身居高位以来，将近三十年，一些门人和老朋友都极力劝我趁有职有权时见机行事，购置田园留给你们，我都拒绝未采纳。因为我认为只有将宝贵的清白遗给后代，才能让后人享用无穷。”徐勉的子女后来都成为远近闻名的贤士。

家庭教育的特点是言传身教，潜移默化。由于孩子的可塑性大，所以对其品行的教育尤为重要。对于一时不能明白的道理，他们在实践中逐渐都会接触到，只有正确的引导才能使其走正。为人父母，总想把最好的东西留给子女，其实不管给其多少财物都是身外之物，只有教其重德向善，才是为其长远和未来考虑，才能使其真正受益，在任何时候能够保持清醒的头脑，明辨是非，选择正确的人生之路。