True Friendship Requires Righteousness

Zhang Qianzai was a scholar in Luling, Jiangxi Province, during the South Song Dynasty (1127 – 1279 AD). In ancient China, a person often had a nickname used in place of his given name to symbolize his character. In addition, a scholar often selected a pen name for himself to express his aspirations or characteristics. Mr. Zhang’s nickname was Yifu, and his pen name was Yi’e, meaning "one sea eagle."

Wen Tianxiang (1236 – 1283 AD) is regarded as one of the most famous symbols of loyalty and patriotism in China. He was also from Luling. Zhang and Wen were good friends when they were young. Eventually, Wen was promoted to Prime Minister and became very powerful. A lot of Wen’s old friends sought connections with him or made use of his power after he was promoted. Wen nominated Zhang Qianzai to be an official several times, but Zhang always declined the offer.

When Kublai Khan (1215 – 1294 AD), grandson of Genghis Khan and Khagan of the Mongol Empire, led the Mongol army to invade Song, Wen led the Song forces in defense. When Wen was captured by Kublai Khan and was faced with imminent danger; Zhang did what he could to help. Wen was escorted to Jizhou City, and Zhang secretly visited him. In tears, he told him, "Prime Minister, you will be sent to Yanjing City (present Beijing). I will go with you."

Wen Tianxiang was sent to the north and imprisoned there, and Zhang Qianzai moved to a house near the prison. He went to the prison every day to bring meals to Wen. He did this for three years without interruption. He also dared to bring Wen’s poems and articles out of the prison.

Wen was executed, and Zhang risked his life to hide Wen's body and bury him. He inquired all over to find Mrs. Wen, and went through all kinds of hardships and difficulties to take her Mr. Wen’s remains and manuscripts.

Later, people used the phrase, "Friends who are ready to die for each other – that’s Yi’e, whose friendship lasted for a thousand years" to describe their friends that valued friendship and righteousness.

Besides righteousness, what other principles are necessary for a friendship? Mr. Wang Yangming, a well-known scholar during the Ming Dynasty (1368 – 1644 AD) said, "It’s very important to be modest and humble when making friends. Friends should be modest and open-minded, sincere and respectful, tolerant and forgiving, with less criticism and more sincere praise and encouragement." In "Conducting Norm" (or "Shi Fan"), it is said, "Although everyone has shortcomings in his nature and his acts, he inevitably has strong points. If we only pay attention to their shortcomings and pay no attention to their strong points, then it’s hard to get along even for a short period of time. If we only pay attention to others’ strong points, and give no thoughts to their shortcomings, then we can get along for a lifetime."

朋友相交　以义为重

张千载，字毅甫，号一鹗，是南宋庐陵人，他年轻时就与文天祥是好朋友。文天祥后来官位显赫，位至丞相。很多人一见朋友显达富贵了，便会理所当然的“攀龙附凤”，利用或借助于朋友的权势来捞取私利。文天祥显达后，曾多次推举张千载出来做官。但他的好朋友张千载却多次故意避让，始终都不肯出来为官。

等到文天祥抗元被抓后，可以说即将大难临头之时，张千载却义无反顾的站出来救助文天祥。文天祥被押到吉州城下时，张千载偷偷跑去见文天祥，痛哭着说道：“丞相您去燕京，我张千载也去那里。”

文天祥被押到北方关入大牢中后，张千载便住到了大牢的附近，每天给文天祥供送饮食，这样一直三年时间没有间断。期间还冒险将文天祥在狱中写的诗文传带出来。

文天祥遇害的当天，张千载冒着杀头的危险偷藏了文天祥的尸首，然后安葬。后经多方打探得知文天祥夫人的下落后，又历尽艰险，将文天祥的头发、牙齿，及其生前的文稿等送到了文天祥夫人的手中。

后来人们便把朋友之间重情重义的生死之交，称为“生死交情，千载一鹗。”

朋友相交，除了以义为重，还应遵循怎样的原则呢？明朝大儒王阳明先生就曾说道：“结交朋友时，能够彼此谦虚卑下是非常重要的。朋友交往时，彼此应当虚心谦逊、亲近敬重、宽容包涵对方，劝诫指责的地方少一点，诚恳的赞叹和鼓励多一点。”《世范》中也说：“人的本性与行为虽然有短处，但也同样必然有长处。所以与人交往时，如果只看重对方的短处，而不去看对方的长处，那么交往时间虽短也不能相处；如果能够只看对方的长处，而不去计较对方的短处，那么就可以交往一辈子了。”