Control Oneself and Suppress Anger

Hu Anguo was a famous theorist and writer in the Song Dynasty. He tried to abide by the behavior of a sage all his life. He served his country at many levels, the highest as "Baowenge Scholar." When he was young, he had no patience. Once he was mad and hit a soldier. The soldier fought back. Hu realized that being angry was no way to resolve a problem, so he prepared a notebook and copied excerpts of stories from literature relating to tolerance. Gradually he turned into a much more patient person, and his mind became much more tolerant as well.

Xia Yuanji was the Secretary of the Internal Ministry in the Ming Dynasty. He was a person with a tolerant mind. Once someone asked him: "Can one learn your tolerance?" He said: "When I was young, I was always very angry when someone upset me. Later I first tried to control myself and appeared calm on the outside, while I slowly calmed myself down within. Gradually I found that I was able to control myself well on all occasions."

Li Tianfu was born in Hefei City in the Qing Dynasty. He was a very generous and humble person. He served as a government official and reached the level of “Wuyingdian Scholar.” He was always very fair every time he discussed business with other officials in front of the emperor. When certain officials used harsh words or acted hostile toward him, he always smiled and said to them: "Why are you acting that way? With a calm mind, we can resolve everything. I was like you before, but then I slowly learned to control myself, and gradually I became a calm person."

Lin Zexu served as the governor of Jiangsu Province and later as the joint governor of Hunan and Guangdong Provinces. He was a person with no patience at first. Then, when he was in Jiangsu, he wrote "Control Your Temper" on a plaque and hung it in the hall as a constant reminder. As time went by, he turned into a very tolerant person that everyone respected.

In the examples above, these gentlemen were not so tolerant in the beginning. Rather, it was because they paid attention to cultivating themselves that they were able to develop calm and tolerant natures later on. Not controlling one’s temper is harmful to one’s physical and mental health. It reflects one’s lack of discipline. It can often seriously hurt others and cause big problems, so one has to control one’s temper. Being tolerant, controlling oneself and suppressing one's anger are the best ways. If one always remembers to control oneself, one will gradually be able to do it well.

克己制怒

胡安国是宋朝著名的理学家和文学家，一生遵循学习圣人的德行，官至宝文阁直学士。他年轻时性格特别急躁，有一次对一小兵发怒，并动手打了他，小兵还了手，胡安国心想发怒生气这并不能解决问题，于是就自订了本小册子，专门从经书典籍中摘录些有关忍的故事来学习，后来慢慢性格变的不急躁了，心胸也变的开阔了。

夏原吉是明朝户部尚书，为人非常有雅量。有人问他：“这种雅量可以学习吗？”夏原吉说：“我年幼时，遇到冒犯我也必定要发怒。后来我先在外表的脸色上忍，再慢慢忍于心中，久而久之就没有什么事不能忍了。”

李天馥是清朝时合肥人，为人宽厚谦和，累官至武英殿大学士。每次在朝廷上商讨事情，他总是持守公平，有同列官员如果有严厉的言辞或神色，他总是笑着对他们说：“你何必这样呢？无论什么事，平心静气都可以解决。我以前也像你一样，后来慢慢约束克制自己，渐渐就能够平静下来了。”

林则徐曾先后任江苏巡抚、湖广总督等职。他性情比较急躁，在江苏任职时，曾经亲自书写“制一怒字”的匾额挂于厅堂之中，时时警惕和克制自己不要轻易发怒，时间久了，人们都很佩服他的雅量。

由此可见，那些贤士君子并不是一开始就有“海量”，而是他们时时注重修养自身德行的结果。人的发怒很难控制，这对自己的身心都非常有害处，是一种没有德行的表现，而且会严重的伤害到他人，以至酿成大祸，所以必须加以克制，而“忍”就是一剂最有效的良方，时时事事注意克制约束自己，这样慢慢就会达到“制怒”的目的。