英文对照赏析
The Importance of EtiquetteXiao Yixin was the wife of Yu Lunu, an official of the Liao State (916 – 1125 AD). Her father was the emperor's son-in-law and her mother was Princess Hutu. Xiao Yixin, who was beautiful both inside and outside, got married at age 20 and never failed to respect her parents and love her family. She was a lady who was known for displaying the traditional virtues of a Chinese lady.
Once, Xiao Yixin was chatting with her sisters-in-law who were talking about how to win their husbands' love by using arcane magic to dispel wicked spirits. Xiao Yixin suggested, "Etiquette is better than any such practice." The others asked why. Xiao Yixin replied, "If we pay attention to self-cultivation and proper behavior, if we take good care of our elders and show respect to them, if we are gentle to our husbands and tolerant of our juniors, we will be living by etiquette. When we accomplish all of this, we'll naturally win love and respect from our husbands. If, on the other hand, we resort to some evil practice to win favor, aren't we going to feel guilty?" Hearing that, the other sisters were ashamed.
Later, Ye Lunu was falsely accused and exiled to foreign lands. Since Xiao Yixin was the daughter of a princess, the emperor wanted her to divorce her husband. But she pleaded to the emperor, "It is really gracious of you, Your Majesty, to be considerate of my relationship to you and try to save me from suffering in exile with my husband. However, a husband and wife should follow moral principles--they should be together in both good and bad times, and they are not to part until death. I was married to Ye Lunu when I was young, and if I leave my husband when he is facing difficulties in his life, that will run counter to basic behavioral principles and I would be no different than an animal. I hope Your Majesty will show pity to us by allowing me to go with Ye Lunu. I won't have any regret even if I die there." Moved by her pleading remarks, the emperor gave his consent.
At the place of exile, Xiao Yixin and her husband toiled every day, but she showed no trace of complaint. Instead, she was even kinder and more respectful to her husband.
Why have marriages become increasingly more fragile nowadays? What ancients used to have, such as lasting marriages, mutual respect and mutual support in time of need, are now merely what people long for or expressions of blessing. Traditional morality and etiquette, the bonds that have maintained and governed human relations for thousands of years, have gone by the wayside. Respect, morality, and gratitude, the key elements for the harmony between a husband and wife that the ancients cherished, are now often overlooked and lacking in modern families.
重礼重义
萧意辛是辽国人耶律奴的妻子，父亲是驸马都尉陶苏斡，母亲是呼图公主。萧意辛美貌且知书达理，二十岁时嫁给了耶律奴。她事亲睦族，重礼重义，有着中国女性的传统美德。
有一次，萧意辛与妯娌们在一起，大家在争论用什么厌魅邪法（指驱使低灵鬼怪迷惑人）可以得到丈夫的宠爱。萧意辛说：“用邪法不如用礼法。”众人问她原因。萧意辛说：“加强自己的修养，使自己行为端谨，符合规范；侍奉长辈恭敬孝顺；对待丈夫温柔和顺；对待小辈宽洪大量，这些就是礼法。能够做到这些，自然能够得到丈夫的疼爱和尊敬。如果用邪法来获宠，能不有愧于心吗？”大家听了，都感到很惭愧。
后来，丈夫耶律奴受奸人诬告，被流配异地。因为萧意辛乃公主的女儿，所以皇帝就想让萧意辛与耶律奴离婚。萧意辛对皇帝说：“陛下能够念及我们的亲戚之情，想让我免去流配之苦，这实在是很大的恩情。但是，夫妻之间应讲求道义，要生死相随，祸患与共。我自年轻时就嫁给了耶律奴，现在耶律奴一有了危难，我就马上离开他，这是违背纲常礼教的，这与禽兽有什么区别呢？希望陛下怜悯我们，让我与耶律奴同行，即使我死了也没有什么怨恨。”皇帝听了这一番话，非常感动，便答应了萧意辛的请求。
到了流配的地方，萧意辛整日做着艰辛劳苦之事，但她没有一丝怨言，对待丈夫更加有礼、恭敬。
为什么现代的夫妻关系变的越来越脆弱，古人讲的百年之好、相敬如宾、相濡以沫等，现在越来越成为美丽的向往和美好的词汇。因为被摧残的中华传统道德和礼教，正是千百年来维系和规范人与人之间如何相处的纽带。恭敬、重道义、感恩，这都是古人所推崇的夫妻相处之道，也正是现代家庭所忽视和缺少的。