王阳明断是非 Words of Wisdom from Wang Yangming
Words of Wisdom from Wang Yangming
Wang Shouren, courtesy name Bo’an, art name Yangming, was a prominent Neo-Confucianist and educator during the Ming Dynasty. One time, a father and a son sued each other, and asked Wang Shouren to judge their case. Wang Shouren merely had a few words with them, and the father and the son hugged each other, wept and went home. Someone asked Wang Shouren: "What did you say to them that prompted them to repent so quickly?"
Wang Shouren said: "I told them that Shun was the most unfilial and disrespectful son, and Gusou was the most gentle and loving father."
We all know that this was far from the truth. Emperor Shun was regarded as the founder of the moral culture of the Chinese race. He was extremely filial. By the time he was twenty years old, his filial piety was known everywhere. Shun’s father was Gusou, and his mother died young. His stepmother was cunning, cruel, and malicious. Her son, Xiang, was haughty, domineering, and unfilial. The stepmother often made slanderous remarks about Shun in front of Gusou. The three of them schemed and tried everything possible to kill Shun. One time they asked Shun to repair the silo, then they set the silo on fire. Another time they asked Shun to dig a well, and they dumped rocks and dirt into the well while he was digging. Shun seemed to be protected by the gods, and he was miraculously spared from the disasters. Although the three treated Shun with hatred and resentment, Shun repaid them with kindness. He did it diligently and without complaint. He was always obedient and respectful of his parents, and he treated Xiang with brotherly love and compassion.
So why did Wang Shouren put it that way? He explained: "Shun always thought himself not filial enough, therefore he was capable of being filial. Gusou often considered himself the most loving father, therefore he was not capable of loving. Gusou constantly thought: I raised Shun since he was little, why didn't he do things to please me? Because Gusou did not know that he was deceived by his second wife, he considered himself very loving, therefore he could not love more. On the other hand, Shun thought: My father loved me so much when I was little, now he does not love me anymore. It must be me who was not filial enough. So he was constantly trying to improve himself, therefore he was even more filial. Finally, Gusou came to his senses and repented. Shun became the most filial son of all time, and Gusou also became a very loving father."
In fact, we should use the same rationality to treat others. Unlike Shun, we often find faults in others when we encounter conflicts. If we can look within and find our mistakes and improve ourselves, then we can resolve the conflicts no matter how big they are.
王阳明断是非
王守仁，字伯安，号阳明，是明朝著名的理学家和教育家。曾有父子两人发生诉讼，去找王守仁来评断是非。王守仁只对他们说了几句话，父子两人就抱在一起痛哭着回去了。有人问王守仁，您对他们说了什么话，居然能令他们悔悟的如此之快。
王守仁说：“我说舜是世间大不孝的儿子，瞽瞍是世间最慈祥的父亲。”
我们知道，事实并非如此。舜帝，被称为中华民族道德文化的始祖。他非常孝顺，二十岁时，他的孝行已传闻各地。舜的父亲叫瞽瞍，生母早逝，后母阴毒狠辣，生的儿子叫像，也狂傲不肖。后母经常在瞽瞍面前说舜的坏话，所以三人多次想方设法要杀害舜，曾叫舜修理米仓，然后放火烧仓；还让舜去挖井，他们趁机把土石填到井里……可是舜得到上天的护佑，每次都神奇的躲过了灾祸。虽然遭到这样的对待，可舜却以德报怨，对父母依旧恭顺尽礼，丝毫没有不满和懈怠，与弟弟像相处仍旧友爱仁慈。
王守仁为什么要这么说呢？他解释道：“舜总是认为自己大不孝，所以能孝顺；瞽瞍常常自认为是最慈祥的父亲，所以不慈祥。瞽瞍总是想：舜是我从小养大的，现在为何不会讨我的欢心？却不知他已被后妻所蒙蔽，只认为自己很慈爱，所以更不能慈爱。舜只想着，父亲在我小时候是如何的疼爱我，现在不疼爱我，是因为我自己不能尽孝，天天考虑不能尽孝的地方，所以更加孝顺。最后瞽瞍悔悟。舜成了古今的大孝子，瞽瞍也变成了慈父。”
其实我们待人处事也是这个道理。在遇到矛盾时，我们往往总是只去找对方的不是，却不能像舜这样，无论遇到什么事，都只找自己不足和做错的地方。如果这样，那么多大的矛盾都会被化解。